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Autotrader Find: Armored Hummer H2 for $295,000

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author photo by Doug DeMuro January 2017

Have you ever wondered what you'd have to do to a Hummer H2 in order to make it worth $300,000? Apparently, this.

Yes, that's right: This is a 2009 Hummer H2 currently listed on Autotrader with an asking price of $295,000. It's not the miles that make it worth so much, although they're impressive -- just 3,460 from new. It's also not the condition, though that's pretty impressive, too. No, it's the fact that this H2 is completely armored.

According to the listing -- this H2 is offered by a private seller in, unsurprisingly, Florida -- modifications include quarter-inch steel plating designed to cover AK-47 rounds. There's also an armored battery, an armored radiator box and a bullet-resistant fuel-tank cover, along with run-flat tires, reinforced pillars, a public-address system and siren and armored door seams. But none of these items are my favorite piece of protection.

That honor can be found in back, as this H2 features -- this is completely true -- 2-by-2 bench seats in back that are designed, according to the listing, "for agents." It also includes a "stowaway logistics table," and the single best thing of all: gun ports on each side, plus one in the rear. In other words, this H2 isn't just armored: If you have agents riding in back and enjoying their stowaway logistics table, they can actually return fire against enemies.

The ad also says this H2 took nearly 3 months to fully armor, and it's being sold by a military veteran who's downsizing his security services company. I have to admit, it's kind of cool. It's also probably overkill. But regardless of your opinion, one thing is for certain: There are probably some great stories in those 3,460 miles.

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This image is a stock photo and is not an exact representation of any vehicle offered for sale. Advertised vehicles of this model may have styling, trim levels, colors and optional equipment that differ from the stock photo.
Autotrader Find: Armored Hummer H2 for $295,000 - Autotrader