It has recently become clear to me that there is a company that lets you drive tanks over cars. I learned this through an e-mail with my boss, who typically e-mails with work-related topics, except for this one particular time when he forwarded an e-mail about how you could pay a company in Minnesota to let you drive a tank over a car.
The business is called Drive a Tank, and I have no affiliation with this firm except that I am someone who may, potentially, be interested in driving a tank over an automobile, since I have already driven two SUVs over four automobiles in my short life, and it sounds much cooler to do it in a tank.
From taking a quick look at the Drive a Tank website, here’s my understanding of how this works: you pay this business some money, and then you select a "package" that ranges from driving a fairly small tank for a few hundred bucks all the way to driving a Sherman Tank over a couple of cars for like two grand.
Obviously, I cannot believe this business exists, but it does, about an hour southwest of Minneapolis, Minnesota in a town called Kasota, which has a population of 675 people and approximately seven tanks, plus a few other military vehicles, if the website is to be believed. The tanks range from an armored personnel carrier all the way up to The Sherman, which you can drive for $1,599 — or you can add a single car crush ($549) or a two-car crush ($749) to your package. Other packages are less expensive, but who wouldn’t want to drive The Sherman?
On the website, there’s a FAQ section that actually asks the question, "Who would want to drive a tank?" as if the answer isn’t obvious: everyone. I, however, have other questions: how is this business insured? How did that conversation go with the insurer? "We have a business where we let people run over cars with tanks." Does this business require a license? Does tank ownership require a license? Do you have a tank mechanic? And a tank garage? And a tank lift?
Of course, I’m also curious to find out what these tanks cost, and I was excited by the "For Sale" section on the Drive a Tank website, but, unfortunately, the only vehicle currently offered for sale is a 5-ton military personnel carrier with standard, normal rubber wheels, rather than tank treads. I suppose you can’t stay in business if you sell off the equipment.
Anyway, I’m thrilled that this business exists, and I wanted to pass it along to you people in case one of you wants to roll over a car with a tank. Disappointingly, they don’t bring the tank crushing to you, and you have to actually go to Kasota in order to drive these vehicles. However, the next time you’re in Minneapolis with a few hours to spare and a couple grand to burn, remember The Sherman.
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