After a highly unsuccessful intervention with some friends that share my compulsive buying and hoarding tendencies, I decided to lead by example — and sell off six of my cars that I don’t use. Most have sat for months while I focused on whatever hot new flavor that found its way into the fleet — but a few are actually recent purchases, one of which I’m thrilled to get rid of.
It’s probably easy to guess which car I’m overjoyed to get out of the fleet, and that’s my 2007 BMW M5. Despite making a video talking about all the reasons that I dislike the car, and how the engine could grenade itself at any moment, courtesy of the rod bearings and Vanos pump, I had more than a dozen emails from viewers wanting to buy the car. The first to send me money was Mike from Texas, whose best friend is a BMW technician — so I think I found a good home.
The other performance sedan that I’m selling is much more painful for me, as I really love my 1995 Mercedes C36 AMG. These cars are finally starting to get the appreciation they deserve, and I have a lot of memories with mine — but I’ve barely driven it over the past year. I’m able to stomach this sale, since it’s going to one of my good friends, who has bought a few cars from me in the past — so I know it’s in good hands. I also have right of first of refusal should he want to sell it again.
Another friend bought my 1996 Buick Park Avenue Ultra, which is another car I never thought I would sell. Even though it’s almost impossible to find this older body style sedan with the second generation supercharged 3800, which was only made in 1996, it’s another car that barely moved. When I bought another land Yacht, my 1976 Cadillac Eldorado, it seemed silly to have two giant barges — but now I’m thinking I’ll sell the Cadillac as well, since I bought another dream land yacht I’ve been trying to find for years.
With the addition of my fantastic Hummer H2, I decided to let go of my Lexus LX470 for $6,200, which, coincidentally, matched the Hummer’s purchase price. This is probably a really stupid trade — but I ran out of things to do with my luxury Land Cruiser, and since it was so reliable, it wasn’t creating any interesting content for me. The Hummer has been getting me plenty of attention, albeit mostly bad, which results in more clicks on my videos — so, mission accomplished?
An additional car to leave the fleet was my McLaren — and no, not my real McLaren. I bought a silly turbocharged Pontiac Grand Prix ASC McLaren late last year, and I really liked the rad digital interior and strange seats — but the car itself wasn’t much fun to drive. I wouldn’t have minded keeping it as a novelty, since it is hilarious — but if I start collecting cars, it should be nicer examples. I had someone from California email me who really wanted to buy it — and since we agreed to a price that was close to what I had into it, selling was a really easy decision.
Finally, the most recent hooptie to sell was my Jurassic Park Jeep, which I bought on my reality show — and like so many others, I’ve barely driven it since. A family member really wanted it — but it’s not going anywhere soon, since he needs me to store it until construction on his hangar is finished. Even when it’s finally parked over there, the Jeep will be more of a display piece — and I’ll be the one tasked with keeping it running and driving.
So you all should be proud of me, since seven cars have gone, or will be leaving the hooptie fleet soon — if not more. We’ll just overlook the part that I’ve already bought four more cars in the past few weeks to replace them. Still, it’s a net negative in total hooptie fleet size — so I’m technically improving!