Recently, many of my hoopties have found their way into the hands of other YouTubers. I’ve unintentionally become a car dealer that caters to other car channels, and unfortunately, most of the metal I moved have been my good, usable cars — with one obvious exception. Since listing the sales helps my feeble mind remember, I’m going to do that now, in addition to giving a brief hooptie fleet update on all the projects.
In the last few months, my "Fast and Furious" Toyota Prius, Subaru SVX, Cadillac Eldorado, and Range Rover have all changed hands to other YouTube channels. My pimped Prius was purchased by Daily Driven Exotics, a channel with almost 2 million subscribers, as a gag gift to a friend who works as an Uber driver in Southern California. While my Prius has been fully repaired since the nitrous explosion, and should be fully capable of the rigors or ridesharing, I imagine the customization will get him way more attention than he’s used to. There also might be a few rideshare customers with a poor sense of humor that might refuse to sit next to a bottle of nitrous.
The other cars were sold in similarly sorted condition, except the Range Rover, which I gave away to my friend Tavarish. After exhuming it from almost a year underground, and discovering water had completely flooded the cabin and ruined everything, it was obvious his original plan of getting the Range Rover running again would be impossible. So he decided to destroy it even more by sending it to a YouTuber in Texas, aptly named Demolition Ranch. After getting shot full of holes, I suspect my Range Rover will get run over by a tank eventually. Then perhaps the aluminum body will finally get hauled off and melted into cans. No doubt those cans will leak just as severely as the Range Rover that made them.
As for what’s left, there’s been some progress with my "Hump De Dump Tee" twin projects. Both my Porsche 911 and Toyota Previa have their engines removed and torn to a thousand pieces, but finally, the parts have arrived for both to finally begin putting them back together. I’m worried we’ll discover what feels like to be "the King’s horses and all the King’s men," but with a little luck, hopefully both cars will be back on the road soon.
The same can’t be said for my Maserati Quattroporte, which my mechanic, the Car Wizard, has officially given up on trying to figure out. Even though the car drives fine, the transmission error warning will not go away on the dashboard — and after throwing a few parts at the problem to no avail, the Wizard thinks the Maserati dealer would have better luck solving the problem than him. Since my Mercedes-Benz E63 AMG wagon, which broke in Kansas City, is at a Mercedes/Maserati dealer, making the switch will be easy once my latest purchase is ready for pickup.
The two other cars the Car Wizard was able to finish for me were my Chrysler products, including my 1994 Jeep Wrangler, which decided to eat its own transmission last week, as well as my Dodge Viper. It needed a few little things to be completely sorted, which I wanted to be done so I can put it up for sale. With the way things are going with my car sales lately, once I do finally list the Viper, I wouldn’t be surprised if I got an email from Pewdiepie.
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