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Video | My Mercedes E63 AMG Wagon Might Be the Worst Car I Have Ever Owned

I can’t tell you how excited I was when I first bought my 2007 E63 wagon, as it was a car that I’ve always wanted to own — and I thought it was a great buy at only $13,000. Most AMG wagons of this era are in the $20,000 to $40,000 range — and despite the high mileage, mine looked to be in great condition, with tons of service records. The fact that it was green, which is my favorite color, made it a dream come true — but now my ownership experience is turning into a nightmare. Last week, my E63 went totally insane, and might be the most unreliable car I have ever owned.

For those who forgot how much money I’ve wasted on this car, let me painfully remind you. After taking delivery of my E63 just outside of New York City, it broke down on the way home — thanks to a failed gateway module. This cost $1,300 to fix at the dealer — and once it finally made it back home to Kansas, the real repairs started. After doing one little "donut" in my mechanic’s parking lot, the power steering pump failed, and it also needed new brakes, suspension work and a few electrical repairs. In total, I spent $4,000 during my first few weeks of ownership — and almost immediately after driving it home, the check engine light came on again.

This resulted in another $600 being spent for new intake gaskets, only to have me bask in the warm amber glow of the check engine light again thanks to low fuel pressure, and the Wizard suspects it’s due to aging fuel pumps — which will be another expensive repair. Additionally, I’ve held off on fixing an oil leak from the upper oil pan, since I wasn’t eager to spend another $2,000 after spending almost $5,000 already. So I still haven’t caught up on all the issues that existed when I purchased the car — and more are piling on. I can’t blame the previous owner for this, since he spent at least $10,000 trying to keep on top of repairs over the past 2 years — but clearly, this E63 wanted much more.

After filling up with gas and a quick car wash last week, the windshield wipers on my E63 started swiping on their own, at maximum speed, and refused to turn off. I thought restarting the car at the next intersection would be a good idea — but after removing the key, the car completely bricked, and had no electrical power in the cabin. I thought I was stranded, but then I realized the engine was still running, even without the key in the ignition. This allowed me to drive the E63 home, but with no gauges, climate control, power windows — which was very strange, obviously.

Once I did arrive home, the engine refused to shut off. I had to resort to pulling the fuel pump relay — otherwise, the engine would have idled into eternity — and I disconnected the battery, since I could still hear the buzz of some electric systems in the engine bay still powered on. A few hours later, I tried reconnecting the battery, which caused the horn to honk continuously. It refused to start, or show any signs of life otherwise. A few days later, I tried hooking up the battery again — and, amazingly, the car started right up, with no issues. I thought it was weird, but I was so happy to have it running again that I pulled it in the garage, and went inside. Not long after, I heard an alarming buzzing noise coming from the garage.

What greeted me when I checked on the ominous buzz was my E63’s headlamp washers completely evacuating its entire supply of washer fluid all over the place — including inside of my 1985 Mercedes 500SL convertible, which happened to be parked beside it. With the washer fluid pump sounding more strained as it was running dry, the engine refused to restart, as well, so I had to push it outside my garage and disconnect the battery. Worried my demonically possessed E63 might try to burn the house down next, I called for a tow, and sent it to my mechanic, the Car Wizard, for diagnosis.

Strangely, my AMG arrived to my mechanic’s shop, and started right up — running perfectly like nothing was wrong. We couldn’t find any electrical panels that were wet, but since it had been days since I took the E63 to the car wash, I decided to try soaking the car with a power washer again, this time with the Car Wizard monitoring the car. Nothing happened.

I’ve left it with the Wizard for the last 5 days, and it’s started for him every morning without any problems. Most likely, whatever had gotten wet from the car wash has now dried out, but it’s frustrating not knowing what caused my E63 to go completely insane. Now I can’t trust it, and I can’t sell it in good conscience without disclosing the problem, and likely selling it for a massive loss — so I’m stuck with this albatross. At least it will make for a great looking lawn ornament. Find a Mercdedes-Benz E 63 AMG Wagon

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