Beginning my day with a tow truck, after one of my cars tried to kill me, certainly wasn’t the best start. Thankfully, things got much better from there, as the first stage of my Border Patrol Ford Raptor restoration is complete, and another one of my cars might finally be sorted.
At least I was pulling into my neighborhood when the brakes on my Hummer H2 decided to quit working. This stemmed rusted brake line suddenly exploding, leaving a trail of brake fluid as I nursed my massive Tonka truck of a vehicle back to my driveway. Obviously, driving it this way 30 miles to my mechanic, the Car Wizard, would be very stupid, so I used the last of my free AAA tows for the year and then headed over to my detailer to see my transformed Raptor for the first time.
When I first bought this 2012 Ford F-150 SVT Raptor, the paint looked like it had a matte finish from the factory, but in reality, it had earned its beaten and badly weathered appearance from 6 years and 150,000 miles of service to the Border Patrol. With all the decals removed, my Raptor only had the scars to remember its time patrolling the Southern border, but I wanted to change that — with a twist.
After my detailer did his best to remove the layers of filth, and actually make the truck shine again, I lined up a vinyl guy to reapply the Border Patrol livery. Since I didn’t want to scare anyone doing a faithful restoration, I changed the bed mounted green “Border Patrol” lettering to “Hooptie Patrol.” The same diagonal green stripe was applied to the rear doors, and instead of applying the U.S. Customs and Border Protection crest on the front doors, I opted for an American flag. Without any direction from me, my vinyl guy also installed a modified serial number on the fenders and cab like Border Patrol units — except the numbers signified the date of the start of my YouTube channel.
Yes, it looks ridiculous, and even without a light bar and sirens, other motorists tend to get out of my way, and are reluctant to pass this imposing looking truck. After unveiling the Hooptie Patrol to the world, where I imagine a few confused drivers Googled the name looking for this government entity, I drove my Raptor to the Car Wizard, so the mechanical restoration could continue. Wizard said that he really liked what I had done, but there’s a good chance he was just being polite.
For now, the Raptor is waiting on replacement parts before work can begin, but I was thrilled to discover the wait was finally over with my E63 wagon. Nearly $5,000 later, all of the warning lights are finally off on the dashboard, and my “Hammer” hauler might be finally sorted. Maybe it will actually give me a bit of a honeymoon now, but since it’s a German car with over 200,000 miles, that’s probably wishful thinking. Find a Ford F-150 for sale