25 Thoughts About the 2024 Cadillac Escalade-V
Author:
Sean Tucker.
Everything about the 2024 Cadillac Escalade-V is over the top. It’s Cadillac’s largest vehicle, with all dials turned to 11. Supercharged 6.2-liter V8 muscle car engine? Check. High-tech magnetic suspension that adjusts to road conditions? Check. Partial self-driving system that will even change lanes on its own? Check. The Escalade-V packs every luxury Cadillac can build and all the performance it can tune into the body of an enormous SUV. The White House often shuttles high-ranking dignitaries around in Escalade vehicles. They don’t use V-Series models for that, probably because they would be overkill. This is a Guy Fieri dish of an SUV smothered in cheese and covered in Donkey Sauce. It’s that 108-ounce steak on the menu — the one where they put your picture on the wall if you finish it. I’ll let you know if I think of anything this car doesn’t have.
This kind of vehicle an automaker builds just to prove it can. Sure, a few people will buy them. But this isn’t a car General Motors plans to sell many times a day. It’s a proof of engineering prowess and a luxury rarity only a few will even consider buying. It builds up GM’s reputation more than its quarterly sales numbers. That makes reviewing it a little silly. You’re probably not reading this review to weigh this car against three others you might buy. You know if you’re in the tax bracket to buy this and whether you want one. Odds are good that you’re reading this instead out of curiosity. So, I’ll note the details quickly for the record — my tester was a 2024 Escalade-V in Radiant Red Tintcoat. It had no options because Cadillac makes nothing optional at this level — every feature you can imagine is standard. The sticker read $155,515 after a $1,995 destination charge. In its honor, our usual five thoughts aren’t quite nearly enough.
25 Thoughts
- There are Olympic sprinters, and there are sumo wrestlers. They’re not the same people. A 500-pound Yokozuna grand champion shouldn’t be able to line up for the 200-meter dash credibly. But here he is, passing runners.
- With its 6.2-liter supercharged V8, this 3-row, full-size SUV has 682 horsepower. The fastest Corvette GM can sell you has 670.
- This much bulk with that much speed sounds hard to control, but it isn’t. The adjustable magnetorheological suspension keeps it stunningly composed.
- Brembo brakes reel it all in. I’m not going to pretend this thing stops like a Miata. The laws of physics reluctantly apply to it. But brakes from a legendary builder of racing parts keep stopping distances reasonable.
- Hands full? Kick under the rear bumper. If you have the key with you, that will open the hatch.
- The best speakers are headliner speakers.
- It’s hard to decide. This thing has 36 speakers to choose from. Thirty. Six.
- “Conversation enhancement” uses microphones around the cabin to project in-car conversation through those 36 speakers. The driver and third-row passenger can easily hear one another.
- Looking for some conversation suppression? Second-row passengers get screens that run Hulu, Netflix, and other apps. They each get a set of wireless headphones.
- It is kind of a minivan. I mean, a minivan that has hit the gym every day for a decade, sure. But the interior is as family-friendly as anything with sliding doors.
- The second and third-row seats fold via power buttons in the cargo area and fold genuinely flat. I can’t imagine anyone using their Escalade-V to haul drywall, but drywall would probably lay flat in one.
- Every window has one-touch up-and-down power. Many cars have that just for the driver. But it’s perfectly plausible that you have a dignitary in the back seat of your Escalade-V. Watching Hulu.
- This 3-ton SUV has launch control. Set it to V-Mode, hold down the brake, and floor the gas pedal. When the car tells you to, release the brake. You’ll rocket to 60 mph in 4.4 seconds.
- Many cars do that trick in less than 4.4 seconds. But they don’t do it with seating for seven and 36 speakers.
- The fold-away running boards are wide enough for most adults to step into the car without grabbing the convenient handle.
- Engine power is as much about sound as it is about a sense of motion. Whoever tuned the pipes in the Escalade-V understands that idea. In V-Mode, the supercharged V8 positively roars. Each shift comes with a crack of an exhaust blast. Let up on the pedal, and the pipes sound like popcorn as they cool. It might be a bit over the top, but this car makes you want that.
- Outside of V-Mode, the engine is relatively quiet. With one exception. On startup, it barks to life. If your Escalade-V has been sitting overnight, starting it up will send neighborhood squirrels scampering up trees and make small children clutch a parent’s leg. Then, it settles into a luxury car’s purr. It just likes to remind you what it’s capable of for a moment before it does its cool, collected thing.
- Only the front seats have massage functions. I’m a little surprised the second row doesn’t.
- GM’s Super Cruise driver assistance system is standard. It works only on certain preordained highways but is beautifully smooth. In a traffic jam, it took over the driving for me and even changed lanes on its own, looking for a faster route.
- I’m a sucker for texture in interiors. The Escalade-V’s leather seats look woven. Small flourishes like that — Did I call something about this car small? Sorry. Design flourishes like that lend a sense of exclusivity to a car.
- Cadillac interior designers used to love shiny piano black surfaces that got scratched easily. In the Escalade-V, they’ve replaced that trim with lovely dark zebra wood. It gives the elegant cool that designers are usually going for when they pick piano black, but it is less prone to scratches and breaks up expanses of black with subtle stripes of almost black.
- Cadillac gives you both a touchscreen and a hockey puck-style rotatory controller for it. Whichever way you prefer to work through the onscreen menus, it’s available.
- The past is irretrievable. The Escalade-V combines all the big, heavy-consumption ideas of the internal combustion era into one single machine under your control. That power is extraordinarily seductive. But it arrived at either the last moment for this sort of thing or, more likely after its moment had passed. We cannot answer the future with the past. I loved driving this car. And I’m glad GM will build and sell just a few of these.
- There’s an all-electric 2025 Cadillac Escalade IQ on the way. It will have all these luxuries and more, but it will be bigger, have more horsepower, and emit no emissions. We can’t answer the future with the past, but we can answer the past with the future.
- Parking the big beast was easier than I feared, but I would have appreciated rear-wheel steering. Hey, I thought of something it doesn’t have!
The Wrap
Should you spend more than $150,000 on a Cadillac Escalade-V? If you’re in the market, you probably knew your answer before reading this. What I can tell you is that it’s one of the most extraordinary vehicles I’ve ever driven. But, if you’re not interested specifically in the charms of internal combustion, I hear the IQ may beat it in many ways. Related:
2024 Cadillac Escalade: Choosing the Right Trim.
