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Hooptie Fleet Update: Transforming My Cheap Ugly Volvo Into a Beautiful Art Car

So much for my cheap Volvo 760 Turbo wagon being my fun, under-the-radar, family hauler, but it’s way past time for my hooptie fleet to have an art car. The blocky shape of my Turbo brick made for the perfect canvas for a Mondrian-style art wrap, or as I like to call it, bricks on bricks on bricks on bricks on bricks — on a Turbo Brick.

For those who aren’t familiar with Piet Mondrian or are of my parents’ generation and think I copied the Partridge family tour bus, the abstract artist who came up with this design was born in the 1870s. He started out his career painting fairly normal-looking landscapes, but by around 1920, it’s almost like Doc Brown picked Mondrian up in a DeLorean time machine and took him to the future where Microsoft Paint existed, and he got the idea to paint these colorful bricks. This brought him some fame until his death in the 1940s, but the themes of his artwork lived on in fashion and art of the swinging ’60s and ’70s — and now today, in 2020, with my 1987 Volvo.

When I bought this Volvo, I didn’t plan at first to make it into an art car. Since the weathered grey paint had a neat look to it, I was happy to have a car that I could leave parked outside to get more patina, but then I came upon this strange wrap idea randomly. Other than having a lot of people staring at my Turbo brick with a bunch of bricks — even more people than when I’m driving my Lamborghini — I don’t regret it. Honestly, this Volvo deserves a little attention, as it’s an interesting car that I bought cheaply, was able to fix cheaply and it’s stayed fixed. For those that follow my hooptie fleet exploits, you know that kind of behavior is pretty rare with my cars.

It’s also a turbocharged, intercooled, rear-wheel drive, manual transmission wagon — a true car enthusiast’s dream. It’s also very comfortable, has a fairly smooth ride and is very well-put-together. While Volvos of this era have appreciated some, they haven’t gotten nearly as much attention as some ’80s German car models, which are getting into the stratosphere price-wise and, in many cases, they aren’t as fun and practical as this Volvo.

I doubt my wrap has added any value to my Turbo brick. If anything, it’s made it more difficult to sell, but plebeians often don’t understand high art like what I’ve created. Perhaps when I’m finished enjoying the car, it could spend some time at the Guggenheim? It’s shaped like a parking garage ramp, anyway… Find a Volvo 760 for sale

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