Last week, I complained that the vanity license plate FAST was primarily issued to tremendously boring, dull or otherwise slow cars in many states across the country. I was especially disappointed in Connecticut, New York, Oregon and Virginia, where the plate was on vehicles that have no business with the FAST vanity plate, or really any sort of special license plate, except maybe one of those "Save the Environment" ones with a picture of an endangered earthworm.
So, this week, I decided to switch it up: I checked for the vanity license plate SLOW across the country. And it turns out that there are a lot of people who think they’re reeeeeeeally funny by installing the SLOW plate on their fast car.
For example, in both Alaska and Arizona, the SLOW vanity plate is on a Suzuki GSX-R sport bike. In Arkansas, it’s on a Shelby GT500; in Illinois, it’s on an Audi R8 V10; in Ohio, it’s on a Porsche 911; and in Michigan, it’s on a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution GSR. In other words, the SLOW vanity plate is on more fast cars than the FAST vanity plate.
Also, the SLOW vanity plate honorable mention goes to the state of Louisiana, home to some of America’s worst roads, and — apparently — its best vanity-plated cars. Louisiana’s FAST vanity plate was on a 1988 Lotus Esprit, and SLOW is on an MkIV Toyota Supra. I wonder if we can get these people together at a cars and coffee.
Admittedly, there are a few states where the SLOW vanity plate perfectly fits the car in question. For instance, North Carolina’s SLOW vanity plate is on a 1992 Volvo 240 sedan. This is an accurate plate because I’ve driven a 240, and what I’ve noticed is that it accelerates at roughly the same pace as tree growth. Florida’s SLOW plate is even more fitting: It’s on a 1999 Chevy Cavalier sedan — presumably because AWFUL was taken.
Check out the full list of SLOW plates right here — and remember that it doesn’t show up in some states because it predates the arrival of the 17-digit VIN.
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